By Sarah Hamaker
For as far back as anyone can remember, there has been
tension between those who believe in manners and those who think those little
civilities are creativity crushers. The task of teaching manners to the next
generation falls upon parents, who too often shove aside such instruction
because of too-full schedules or a mistaken impression that manners don’t
matter anymore.
For those who might be inclined to believe manners are passé
or who are growing weary of the task, here are five reasons why parents should
teach manners to their children. If you need guidance on how to teach—or which
manners should be taught when—see the resources at the end of this newsletter.
1. Manners build
respect. Teaching youngsters to address their elders as Mrs. Jones, Miss or
Ms. Lee, and Mr. Smith is more than semantics. It’s a tangible way to help
children show respect to grownups, from teachers to soccer coaches to
neighbors. And by showing respect to others, children develop respect for
themselves and their peers.
2. Manners build compassion.
Holding doors open for the person behind you is more than being nice—it’s
showing that you care about someone else. Teaching children the small
courtesies in life, such as holding doors, not rushing into the elevator car
before people disembark, and picking up and returning objects someone else has
dropped, will reinforce the idea that we should have a care for our fellow
human beings.
3. Manners build
character. Waiting to speak until someone else is finished develops
patience, a trait of which most of us desire to have more. Politeness also
reveals more about the person being courteous than the person receiving the
courtesies.
4. Manners build a
better family. When everyone—parents and kids—are expected to use words
like “please,” and “thank you,” family life is calmer and more civilized.
5. Manners build
civilization. Society breaks down when people stop being nice to one
another, and manners are tangible way to
show this niceness. How many times have you been tempted to snap back at the
person who let the door slam in your face? We all need manners in order to be
kind to one another.
Teaching manners is a gift we parents give to the community
at large. Our job to civilize the little heathens that are our children can be
thankless at times, but we are sowing seeds that will reap a harvest in the
years to come.
Manner Resources
Elbows Off the Table,
Napkin in the Lap, No Video Games During Dinner: The Modern Guide to Teaching
Children Good Manners by Carol McD. Wallace
The Gift of Good Manners:
A Parent’s Guide to Raising Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children by Peggy
Post and Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D.
Mad About Manners, www.schoolofprotocol.com,
offers resources for teaching children manners.
