By Mary Elizabeth Piretti
Is love alone enough to raise successful kids? Can you love them
through toddlerhood, childhood and teenage years? While love tops the list of
important things you can give your child, leadership is right alongside it.
Children need to know that their parents love them and will consistently lead
them through life. Boundaries and leadership give children security and help
mold them into responsible and successful adults.
Being a leader does not mean barking orders at your children or
placing such high expectations on them that they cannot possibly maintain. It
does mean speaking to them in a way in which they know that you are in control,
that you are above them and in charge. For example, when instructing them to
clean up their toys, you shouldn’t say “Can you clean up your toys, please?”
Instead, you should say “It’s time to clean up your toys now.” Phrasing
commands correctly lets them know that they do not have a choice in the matter,
and that you are not their buddy simply hoping they will comply. When and if
they don’t follow your instructions, you can continue to lead them with
effective consequences.
Commanding your children can seem like a harsh way to speak to
them, but the beauty of parenting with love and leadership is that when you are
displaying leadership, they know how much you love them. They don’t hear your
words as harsh or mean, they see you as a parent who loves them and is in
charge. Boundaries give children a sense of security because they know that
their lives are not in their own hands and that they do not worry about what
they can and should be doing. They can live in freedom knowing that they are
loved and cared for, and that they will be instructed on what to do when the need
arises. They will fight back some of the time, but in the end they will thank
you for how much you care.
Loving first, then leading your children in a way that they know
you are in control of any given situation in an important factor in raising
successful adults. It provides security and gives them the confidence to grow
through their lives. You love your children, that part comes naturally.
Leadership takes practice and consistency for everyone involved but is an
incredibly important part of parenting.
About Mary Elizabeth
Pieritti
Mary Elizabeth is a Certified Coach in the John Rosemond
Leadership Parenting Institute and really enjoys working with families on
making their homes run more smoothly and peacefully. She has a true love for
children and believes that the happiest children are those with well-defined
boundaries. Mary Elizabeth is available to work with you and your family on
creating and enforcing boundaries while fostering a home full of love and
laughter. Visit her website at novatraditionalparenting.wordpress.com.
