By Mary Elizabeth
Piretti
When
I was growing up, my best friend lived in what seemed to me like the most
unreasonably run house in the whole world. Besides the fact that she wasn’t
allowed to watch TV on weekdays, every day when she got home from school,
before she could do anything else, she had to complete her chores.
This
was foreign to me. I did have to do the typical bed-making and unloading of the
dishwasher, but I didn’t have a list of chores that had to be done before I
could plant myself in front of the TV. I didn’t get it at all, and to top it
off, she didn’t even get paid for her efforts! Obviously not normal, right?
Then
I grew up, married, and now have a home of my own and a very busy 9-month-old
baby. What I wouldn’t give for him to be big enough to help with the never
ending list of to-dos around here. I absolutely cannot wait for him to reach
the age where I can give him a job and let him do it. And I think he will be
better for it.
My
husband and I want to raise a responsible and giving member of society, and
pitching in around the house is one of the first ways that he can learn to
contribute. We don’t plan on paying him because we let him live with us, and
eat our food, and wear the clothes we purchase for him. I know some of you are
thinking, “Isn’t that just what we do for our kids?” Yes, it is, but they are
fully capable of doing things for the family in return.
Chores
teach children responsibility, give them a sense of purpose in the family, and
teach home management skills. When a child is responsible for a part of the
home, it shows that they are not just humans who can loaf around and let the
world serve them. They are a part of something bigger in the world. Realizing
that begins with learning that their home doesn’t revolve around them, just as
the larger world doesn’t, either.
What
kind of chores can kids do and at what ages can you start them? I have my child
“help” me put away his toys every night. When he gets old enough to walk and
starts understanding larger concepts, I will hand him a dust rag or a broom,
and he can help with that. When he’s around 3, I will start giving him set
chores. Those chores will be based on what his cognitive and physical
capabilities are at that point, and I will be right there to help him learn how
to do them properly.
Once
a child reaches an age and understanding where they can regularly complete
household chores, there is an easy way to establish them helping in your home.
A small index card box or ring holds “chore” cards listing the things that
child can do. Each day, the child simply takes the chore cards for that day.
You can have them choose different cards as often as you’d like, but a new set
of chores every week is a good place to start, so that they can learn and
master a given task. If they don’t do their assigned chore, don’t do it for
them. The ways you can discipline for “forgetting” is for a whole other
newsletter, but don’t fear, we will tackle that, too.
Eventually
they will wonder why their friends are being paid and they are not. This is
when you explain to them that they live under your roof, they eat out of your
refrigerator, they wear clothes that you have paid for, etc. Most likely they
will complain, but this is when you walk away. They’ll follow you, they’ll beg
and plead for $5 for the ice cream truck, they’ll say they won’t do their
chores if you won’t pay them. Just ignore, ignore, ignore! Eventually they will
get tired of complaining and they’ll leave you alone. And hopefully the next
place you’ll see them is wiping down the kitchen counters. One day, they will
thank you. And so will the world, because you will have given it a member of
society who knows how to give back.
