With two elementary-school age daughter in our house, we’ve
heard the songs from Frozen more
times than we can remember. “Let It Go” has been the most popular song from
that soundtrack, and with the lyrics swirling in my mind, I thought about how
applicable the title is to parenting.
Letting go is the hardest thing we learn to do as parents,
but we often let go of the wrong things. Here’s what we should let go of when
child rearing.
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Image courtesy of thawats/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Let go of our
expectations. This encompasses our expectations for our family, for our
children, for our future. When we stop worrying about what we’re not and focus
on who we are instead, we will have a richer, more full life together.
Let go of our fears.
We all have things we’re afraid will happen to our children, whether it’s
failing a grade or doing drugs. The vast majority of things we’re fearful of
are out of our control—and we would parent better if we loosen our grip on
those things and leave the fears in God’s capable hands.
Let go of our
desires. We desire so many things for our children—a good life, a wonderful
future. But just like with fears, our desires can take over and color every
aspect of our parenting until we push and pull too much in our children’s
lives.
You can probably fill in a few things of your own that you
should jettison. By letting go of those things, we can hold fast to what really
matters. Here’s what we should hold onto.
Hold onto family values.
This is a phrase that has gotten a lot of bad press in the political arena, but
one of the greatest joys of child rearing is giving the next generation the
family values of the present and past ones. Teaching our children family values
is more important than them mastering soccer or ballet. Make sure you take the
time to show through words and actions the value of the family and what you
believe.
Hold onto our commonsense.
So many times, we ignore our commonsense and make things more complicated. Keep
your commonsense, especially as it relates to parenting, and you’ll
Hold onto marriage
first. By putting your relationship with your spouse before your children,
you will help them to properly orient themselves to the family and the world at
large. Focusing on your marriage also helps you to keep the light of your love
alive during the challenging and joyful days of child rearing.
Developing the delicate balancing act of letting go on some
things and holding on tight to others might seem overly ambitious, but with
care, we can become the parents God has called us to be.
