By Sarah Hamaker
The start of a school year is similar to the start of a new
year. New teachers, new classrooms, sometimes new schools all make September a
month of learning new things. With fresh academic year ahead for your children,
I propose that parents adopt the following New School Year Resolutions. These
resolutions will help smooth the way to a successful school year for your
students.
Resolution 1. I will
not complain about my children’s teachers. It’s actually kind of sad that
we have to say this, but for some parents, complaining about who their precious
child got for a teacher has become a fall sport. It used to be that teachers
were held up with respect by every parent, no matter how good a “fit” the
teacher’s personality and teaching style was with the child.
The fact is, nearly every teacher works hard to provide the
best education they can for our children. The very least we can do is speak
well, not ill, of our children’s teachers. This means in public and in private,
we will not disparage teachers, especially in front of our children or within
earshot. By supporting our teachers in this way, we show our children how to
respect their teachers.
Resolution 2. I will
take the teacher’s word over my child’s. Whatever happened to giving the
teacher the benefit of the doubt? Fifty or sixty years ago, if a teacher told a
parent her child had misbehaved, the parent would believe the teacher over any
protestations from the child, knowing that a child is an unreliable witness to
situations in which he has a stake.
Nowadays, many teachers are fearful of telling parents about
any infractions because so many parents automatically—and vehemently—take their
child’s side even before they know the
facts of the situation. This year, resolve to make it clear that you will
not tolerate misbehavior in the classroom. Also inform your students that it’s
their responsibility—and only theirs—to get along with their teachers, no
matter how “difficult” those teachers may appear to be.
Resolution 3.
Homework is the sole responsibility of my child. Who’s response for
homework, the parent or the child? In many households, it’s the parents—and the
schools are not much help in this regard, what with all the planners and
instructions for homework that come home to the attention of the parents. But
the only person who should have responsibility for homework is the student. So
back off and let the chips fall where they may.
If your child doesn’t complete or turn in homework, make it
clear to the teacher that you expect your child to get the grades her work
deserves. If the teacher gives a poor grade on uncompleted homework, then your
child will suffer the consequences. If the teacher makes your child sit out
recess to finish her homework in class, then your child will suffer the consequences.
The only responsibility you have as a parent in regard to homework is to make
sure your child has a place to do it. That’s it. Other than that, leave the
homework to the child. After all, as I tell my kids, I have already passed
elementary school and don’t need to repeat it.
Resolution 4: I will
not bring to school what my child has forgotten at home. Whether it’s homework,
musical instruments or lunches, if your child left it at home, home it stays.
As with completing homework, it is the child’s responsibility to make sure he
leaves for school with all the things he needs that day. The parent who takes
that responsibility on herself by bringing a left-behind item to school is not
helping her child learn that responsibility. It’s better to have a child figure
out how not to forget things early in life than later in life. Less stress on
the parent, too.
As your children settle into life back to school, resolve to
take these resolutions to heart. With practice, your students will develop
their own routines for handling school assignments and will figure out how to
get along with their teachers. After all, school is but a preview of life, and
the more responsibility we give our children, the more opportunities they have
to shine and grow.
