New School Year Resolutions, September 2013

By Sarah Hamaker

The start of a school year is similar to the start of a new year. New teachers, new classrooms, sometimes new schools all make September a month of learning new things. With fresh academic year ahead for your children, I propose that parents adopt the following New School Year Resolutions. These resolutions will help smooth the way to a successful school year for your students.

Resolution 1. I will not complain about my children’s teachers. It’s actually kind of sad that we have to say this, but for some parents, complaining about who their precious child got for a teacher has become a fall sport. It used to be that teachers were held up with respect by every parent, no matter how good a “fit” the teacher’s personality and teaching style was with the child.

The fact is, nearly every teacher works hard to provide the best education they can for our children. The very least we can do is speak well, not ill, of our children’s teachers. This means in public and in private, we will not disparage teachers, especially in front of our children or within earshot. By supporting our teachers in this way, we show our children how to respect their teachers.

Resolution 2. I will take the teacher’s word over my child’s. Whatever happened to giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt? Fifty or sixty years ago, if a teacher told a parent her child had misbehaved, the parent would believe the teacher over any protestations from the child, knowing that a child is an unreliable witness to situations in which he has a stake.

Nowadays, many teachers are fearful of telling parents about any infractions because so many parents automatically—and vehemently—take their child’s side even before they know the facts of the situation. This year, resolve to make it clear that you will not tolerate misbehavior in the classroom. Also inform your students that it’s their responsibility—and only theirs—to get along with their teachers, no matter how “difficult” those teachers may appear to be.

Resolution 3. Homework is the sole responsibility of my child. Who’s response for homework, the parent or the child? In many households, it’s the parents—and the schools are not much help in this regard, what with all the planners and instructions for homework that come home to the attention of the parents. But the only person who should have responsibility for homework is the student. So back off and let the chips fall where they may.

If your child doesn’t complete or turn in homework, make it clear to the teacher that you expect your child to get the grades her work deserves. If the teacher gives a poor grade on uncompleted homework, then your child will suffer the consequences. If the teacher makes your child sit out recess to finish her homework in class, then your child will suffer the consequences. The only responsibility you have as a parent in regard to homework is to make sure your child has a place to do it. That’s it. Other than that, leave the homework to the child. After all, as I tell my kids, I have already passed elementary school and don’t need to repeat it.

Resolution 4: I will not bring to school what my child has forgotten at home. Whether it’s homework, musical instruments or lunches, if your child left it at home, home it stays. As with completing homework, it is the child’s responsibility to make sure he leaves for school with all the things he needs that day. The parent who takes that responsibility on herself by bringing a left-behind item to school is not helping her child learn that responsibility. It’s better to have a child figure out how not to forget things early in life than later in life. Less stress on the parent, too.

As your children settle into life back to school, resolve to take these resolutions to heart. With practice, your students will develop their own routines for handling school assignments and will figure out how to get along with their teachers. After all, school is but a preview of life, and the more responsibility we give our children, the more opportunities they have to shine and grow.